this afternoon, i got dysmenorrhea attack once again... hay... this happens every month.. good thing i'm home, a better place to lay down and ooze the pain... after gaining back my strength, i started doing the chores that my mom asked me to do... clean the house and fold the clothes... i was not able to do intenstive cleaning though because of the pain, but i was able to sweep the floor and wipe the dust on the table... they left for Manila this afternoon to pick up my sister and our little princess andy... they'll be staying here at home for the long holiday...

adorable doctors ^_^ (L-R: Keg and Amy)

sinong mukhang doctor??? haha

like, few minutes ago, i got to catch a very good adorable friend of mine AMY on ym... we had few minutes of chitchat, asking about the whereabouts of each other, exchanging stories, etc.. and in that short span of time we talked, i was really really INSPIRED!!!!

btw, let me introduce AMY first.... she's a third year medical student at DLSU... i'm months older than her but she's in Human Biology Programme of La Salle that's why she's already on 3rd year... she's my adorable friend, way back high school... short girl, hindi mukhang doctora (lol), and most of all, CORNY as always!!!! iloveyou AMY!!!!

anyweiz, every time we get time to bump into each other, whether personally or other means of communication (phone, text, chat), she never fails to encourage me to be strong in med.. she's my model in fact.... she keeps on telling me she was able to reach third year, surpassed freshman and sophie year, why won't i??? she has a point.. but the best thing about her that inspires me is how she currently manages her life for med survival... in all the problems she's facing, financially and other aspects, she was able to find solutions... imagine she's doing things that a typical medical student would not do.. neither i never imagined... (she's doing drugs...!joke... ) what's she's currently up to is full of dignity, and i'm sure by the time she passed this crisis in her life, she'll be a lot better person than she is now... maybe 4x better....

whaaah amy.. i'm so proud of you... and i promise, i'll do good in my acads and in my life... i also appreciate more the blessings that i have right now, and i promised my self i won't put them into trash.. instead i'll use them, and share them... ^_^

/BLOG EXTENDED AT www.bitchycriszie.multiply.com/

my blog has a new look.. obviously... thanks to my ever-talented-in-html-thingy friend ads... ^_^ my old blog lay out was like 2 years old already.. i guess it's about time to give my blog a new look right??? ^_^

waaaahhh.. vacation's soon to end.. and yeah, another pressure's coming up on the first day.. the biochem journal presentation.. i'm one of those tasked to do the presentation in class.. in front of 130+ medical students plus n doctors... and defend our journal... whew!!! sounds like cardio lab con huh??? well thanks to my subsec mates for trusting me on this.... hope i won't disappoint them...

i badly need a haircut!!! i swear!!!! the salon i've been longing for is unfortunately closed tomorrow til nov 1... and it's gonna be open nov 2 pa... i have to the option of going to ystillo... dunnow.. should i be patient or follow the demands of my id to have the haircut as soon as possible??? i have to be back to manila on nov 3 early morning..... whaaaah!!!!!

i need a new look the same thing my blog got hers... ^_^ haha!

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HAPPINESS and APPRECIATION brought me to where i am now... appreciation to everything that's happening.. trying to be TOUGH though deep inside TEARS are falling apart... a vulnerable side not seen by many.. patient in WAITING.. for TIME and SPECIFICS... sometimes i'm tired.. but a part of me still wants to hold on... and keep on waiting.... until i find the REAL happiness.... like this frog who longed for the moon to smile... impossible yet believing.. i guess this is F-A-I-T-H!

presented to:

keg

by

nora p. catapang

on the occasion of

daily union with God

date

august 04, 2007

finally! the book that i have been waiting for ever since my tita informed me that she's giving me a nice book to read... and it's here now in my possession.... INSPIRING WORDS FOR WOMEN: Thoughts of Hope and Encouragement by Darlene Sala...

i can see this is a good book, full of lessons and inspiring words for women of God... i'm just excited to finish reading this.. and i'll make sure i'll be able to digest every single message this book has for me.. i might be able to give a review after i'm done reading... ^_^

next stop... i'm planning to have one of Bo Sanchez' collection... it could be my collection too... someday when i alreay have the means... ^_^

this one is nice:

Yvaine: You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

i've seen the movie a weeks ago....it's only now that got time to post this on my blog.. and it's so nice.. worth watching, spending your 110 pesos, and worth your time... indeed, startdust is the greatest DATE movie of the year.. so if you haven't seen this yet, then go to the nearest moviehouse (if it's still there) or grab a clear copy of DVD... and it's worth watching with a date... hehe <3

--- i just fell in love with this song... actually, i like the song pa before it became the theme song of Wendy and Bruce of PBB (yuck!)...

--- this is just sweet... ^_^

hay.. finally.. im going home... without stress.. mom and i already reconciled.. and she started talking to me... just yesterday morning before i leave the house... i just pray that i may not be able to hurt her again this time.. that i may be a good girl and a good daughter to her..

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migz gave me the advance hand outs in physio and biochem.. still have to review for biochem removals.. and only got a week for these things.. plus i will be in batangas pa.. how could i study?? whaaah...

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grabe just a while ago, i felt the motivation to do better next sem.. to bring back the old me way back in upm, only got better.. i need to focus and as much as possible remove all the destructions.. i need proper time management, know how to sacrifice a little of enjoyment... well i will have Christmas break naman so that's the time i'll make up for the lost time for my own desires and enjoyment.. and as what migz told me, just focus, igapang, and more PRAYERS... this time i will seriously owe everything to God the Father...

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speaking of, grabe, i'm missing someone.. ihihihi... but as what i've just previously said, i have to sacrifice.. and focus more time on my studies.. forget him for now.. or maybe forever..?? nah.. it's hard..hehe.. but he's not my priority as of now... studies first... well, i don't feel that he feels the same way for me din nmn eh.. so why get destructed right???

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wish me luck friends on my transformation for the second sem!!!!! ^_^ toink! (O_o)

it websternet's anniversary... and internet's free... yipee...

sembreak just started, and it will end soon.. only got a week to enjoy everything.. as in no pressure... no stress... how i wish.. but i've got to review for biochem remedials... oh no!!!!

just got a week to enjoy my sembreak.. however.. i got a good/bad news.. i dunow how shall i classify it... last nyt my dad told me that they already have a schedule for interview at US embassy.. and sooner they will leave the country if God permits... however, i might be left alone... though plans are not yet clear, coz the US embassy here in the PI will decide whether i will go with them or not, since they also included me in the application... whatever the result, i will be greatly affected...

if God will allow me to migrate, i have to leave med school...chances are i might not be able to be what i ever wanted since i was a kid... to be a doctor... on the other hand, if i will be left here, i have to be far from my family... and it's a serious matter, since we're oceans apart... US is US... though they could petition me a year after or so, still i will be left alone... hay,,, though it's still months in the waiting.. but possibility is that they will leave early next year.. at least they will be here on my birthday,.,, why am i getting so emotional with my family??? perhaps even though i say that i am independent, but family matters a lot to me...

come what may.. i'll just cross the bridge when i get there... as an existentialist, i'll just live with my present.... ^_^

actually i am sad right now... i stepped out of my room in order to talk to someone in ym.... and remain in cathartic mode... this day is full of frustrations and disappointments...

i only get TOO excited once in a while... as in SUPER excited over something.. and this day's frustration's one of those few moments i got so excited about...i was supposed to watch stardust with my housemate.. actually, i've been asking all my housemates to come and watch the movie, but they all decline, except for one.. so last night, i scheduled my day.. compartmentalizing the things to be done in the morning so that at the end of the day, i would be free to relax and enjoy the film... stardust was supposed to be the film that i'll be next watching since transformers.. i've been so busy for the past months because of my acads that i neglect to see the beautiful films that passed.... (if there's any..)... plus, i do not easily go for movie watching... as in i pick the film that i be watching on the big screen coz i know it's worth watching for...

will i ever see you???

apparently you now know why i started my post with sadness.. because things were not ok.. i was not able to watch.. my housemate texted me late in the afternoon that he has to finish some hospital works and that he was not sure though.... that's the thing... i hate the fact that i get disappointed for no reason at all.. i could not blame anyone.. not even my housemate because it's nobody's fault anyways... but i hate it... i hate the idea of being sad for a very shallow reason, yet for me, it's a big deal... i hate it whenever i get too excited over something yet in the last minute the plan's changed.. plus i hate it that this happened simultaneous with my depression as the semester ended... yes, i was so depressed yesterday... and i was thinking that this day could somehow overcome my depression... and have a good start for my sem break...

another reason that bothers me is that i was supposed to be home in batangas yesterday pa, but because i was expecting this movie thing today, i postponed it.. in short, i sacrificed my vacation at home over this event that i have been looking forward.... hay....what a day.. last night i was quite ok as i bond with my housemates... but why is it that whenever i get to have a sweet taste of euphoria, there's an extreme loneliness that comes in return... what a relationship!!!!!

hay... when i get home, i'll lock my self up again in room... and doing my thing to regain my momentum at least for tomorrow..... hay... stardust... a star that turned into a dust..... :-(

this is one of the nice preachings i've read... here's the site... (i hope it will work) ^_^:

http://bosanchez.ph/get-rid-of-toxic-faith/

Whaaaaaaahhh.. i got an email from my subscription at Bo Sanchez's Kerygma... and i learned that there will be an upcoming conference this november.... and i wanna go!!!!! whoever plans to go, please include me.. hehe... it is my BIG dream to see Bo Sanchez preach live... i've read some of his writings, watched him on the internet, but not live...

it's my shifting week.. and sembreak's near.. though i technically i do not have a sembreak.. just ended with my anatomy exam.. and i hope and pray i did well... ^_^ my next exam, clin epid, will be this 1pm.. and honestly, i haven't studied yet... *delinquent student*... just have to ran some email so i went here to LRU... i a while i'll step out and start reviewing for clin epid..

am i inspired???? yes... i think so... but as much as possible, i am not nourishing the feeling... whatever feelings i had for that person will be kept undefined until.. i do not know... just have to let the shifting week and i'll see what's the next thing to do.. all i can say is that i am happy on the simplest things he does.. whhhhaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh........... but i tell you, the feeling will be kept undefined as of now... ^_^ hihihihi.... <3

whahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! ********EEE%%%%%%%%%$#@#$#%)&)GGGGGGGGGG__________###!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@#)%)(#$_$)%_T$)%#@)VB#$)_@__#$#B#)))!!! --- thanks to the Christian songs that i've been listening on my mp3 that keeps my mind chill on this very moment...

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what a day!!!!! i used to have a good morning... i wake up in a good mood as early as 4:30 am... feeling as if i have a deep sleep after the long thursday's over... i continued doing my lab manual for histo (which i only started doing last night, due today! thanks to JC!!!!!) i was able to study for my shifting exam in preventive medicine I this morning, which i assume, will start at 11 am... in short, i've been so relax for the whole morning...

NOT UNTIL I LEFT THE DORM, that was 9 am, on my way to Dapitan to have my biochem and physio hand outs book-bind, i received a text from Tere and Mina, asking me why did i not take the exam.. i was already in front of the AB building... so i panic... coz i was not able to take the exam which i've been studying!!!!!!! whaaaaaahhh!!!! i'm so lost.. i hurried to the prev med department, seen gayle and steph then von on my way upstairs... and there.. i knew i was not in the good mood that time.. good thing Dra Cruz is kind enough to let me take the exam.. only that it was considered a make up exam and i have to take it 11 pm pa...i was so ngarag... i've been trying to get my good mood back, but i failed.. i was with elaine, karla, and tif then.... we went all together to our 10am class, prev med... still, i was in bad mood.. then there i've seen Tere and Mina, asking me what happened.. all that i could answer was, "wag muna, bad mood ako ngayon"....

finally now, i was able to take the test, and finish it.. i hope i gained my mood back, i hope.. i wish to talk to Tere and Mina... tell them what happened.. no one's to blame but ME!!!!! i was so stupid not to know the schedule.... whaaaaahh!!!!

on the other side of the coin, because of this incident, i felt that i have good friends in med.. theres Tere and Mina, my very nice alphabetical friends, who were kind enough to look for me.. then elaine, my first friend in med school.. then the most recent person i get to appreciate, is JEN my subsec-mate in prev med... super thanks!!!!! we ate brunch together, while waiting for 11 am to come..we're just sharing stuff, our insights about med.. our hardships... we could just relate to each other's concerns.. then she got my number, told me that she'll text me whenever there will be announcements.. from this day, thanks in advance jen.. ^_^ we will survive med.. ^_^

mina have been telling me a couple or more times: "kelangan mo talaga ng makakapitan sa med"... someone who could inspire me to be strong.. good thing for her, she has ynna, very cute 6 y/o kid... and a steady relationship with ynna's father.. mina told me, that by just seeing ynna when she arrives home, she feels ok and stressed-free... in my case, i am not planning to have a kid like as early as now naman.... but i've been thinking of who could be that person who will inspire me and i can lean on to surive... where are you????? i'm not rushing for a serious commitment or something, but what i wanted a relationship with someone with no string attached, but who could make me smile and laugh in my stressful days.. whom i can share my sentiments, who will listen to my dramas.. who will appreciate me in my tinniest details.. and the same thing that i will do for him... but more importantly, CONSISTENT.. the last time i felt the kilig was way back in my premed days pa ata.. only that we never had an ending coz there was no start.. (lalim!!!!).. those times that we'll just talk for at least once a day, enough to share our respective stories.. such that his texts of good morning i read when i woke up could already make me smile... but the problem was, we were not able to nourish what we had then... may be we chose friendship over any romantic feeling what -so -ever...

hay.. i may sound as if i'm selling my self just to have a commitment, but i'm not... i do not care what you may think.. i'm just searching for that creature who will be man enough to stay on my side... especially in these days... where art thou??????? i may not find you soon enough... but i'm sure, when i get to know you, you are the answered prayer... i'll just know... =) as of now, i will still double my efforts to do my own thing... and find my own happiness... yebah!!!!!!!! so help me God!!!!!

lab con is over!!!! whew!!! and i think i did ok... except with a short funny scene that i've created in front of the class... i kinda tripped on the podium!!!! whaaah!!! perhaps i'll be remembered as the lead discussant who made herself funny in front of everyone.. but it's ok actually... coz i even laughed at my self... hehehe...

thank God it's over.. and i can move on to other school matters...

right now i'm soooooooooooo sleepy.. as in my eyes are falling... i just have to wait the files to be attached on my mail.. then i'll go home and sleep for a while...