its already 11:56, almost 12 noon, and i haven't eaten anything yet.. i just do not have my apetite as of the moment... oh i feel excited about the discovery camp later... i don't know what might happen, but i am sure that it will be a fruitful camp... oh well, there are so many things that happened to me this week... i am not in the mood of detailing everything, but i am just thankful with the things that happened... my week' not perfect though... there were lots of struggles and problems that occurred... but gladly i am that i passed them all.. (i hope)... o well, my wait's over... finally, the file i have been waiting for 10 years to be attached to my mail was finally okay... well, i have to go by now coz i can feel my stomach pleading for food....

i'm enlightened... thanks to my friends, and my BMI sisters most especially.... i promise i will give my self a break and gain my pride back.... =)

tomorrow i will be having an exam in anthro and damn, i haven't started yet... oh well, i already did, but not seriously.... as in like 5 chapters and i've only read 2... and for each chapter i have to spend half day.. and what time is it? it's 5:15 pm.... i should have started earlier but i chose to stay at YFC tambayan and chat with my brothers and sisters... but i regret nothing though... i missed talking with them, especially topics with sense.... well, we had talks about love life, (is this a senseful topic?), love itself and life.... as in i am just glad that i received motivations to continue to work on my plan... but what i am after really is the bonding with them.... actually during that time i was talking with them. i never felt out-of-place... as if i have shown my real self to them.... could this be the start of my service? o well, it would be easy for me to serve if i can deal with the people easily... and i just hope i really could.. hay!=)

just again, tomorrow's my exam... and how i wish, i would pass... i should study tonight and i will.... goodluck to all of us!

as i filled up the ESF, i suddenly realized... "oh my, i'm already a senior!".... it was that i was just a freshmen yesterday and tomorrow i would wake up enrolling my self in a med school... haha!=p
o well, 2 months to go before we say goodbye to another bunch of seniors who will explore the world... a lot of them have been part of my life, and it would be sad for me to see them go.. in my college life, i get to know some of them, and as much as i would not want to be attached to someone deeply, but i already did... my friends in dorm, my orgs, and the seniors i have known and became my friends in collge.... a lot of memories to reminisce... looking back at those events, the joys, the tears, surprises, as if tears little by little come out of my eyes....i've made a mark: 2 months left.... i told my self i would make the most out of the two months interacting with the special graduatings in my life... i'm pretty sure that they feel twice as how i feel now because they are the ones who will say goodbye to each other and to college life...
and for those who i still want to get to know mroe, no matter what, even though i will look stupid in front of somebody, i tell you, i will not be hesistant to know you even more.... whether it be a failure or a success, i know in the future in would have no regrets.... coz i tried!

this day is the last day i should call my self a teenager.... oh my!!!! people call me "gurang"... time runs so fast, as in like yesterday, i was just celebrating my debut, where lots of things happened... i almost lost my fone, my friends were there, i got to interact with my brother's friends, gins are everywhere, some guest were drunk, delicious foods, what else? those memories are still fresh... then one year passed, and i was 19! my 2005 bday celebration was such a fun... and long celebration....=) and it was very memorable.... and now, 2 years after turning 18, i am no longer in the "teen" age.... my celebration in fact startd yesterday.... i was with my high school friends, the "adorables", des, trisha, dang, my bestfriend joanne with her bf, mac... we just hang-out at our "favorite" mall, RP, stayed at Popeyes, then walk around, then had a halo-halo afternoon at Razon's.. then of course, we would not miss the studio pic.... but the highlight of our get-together is witnessing the sunset at Manila Bay... Yes, i've finally seen the beautiful sunset on purpose.... it really was a dream come true... i placed this dream of witnessing the Manila Bay sunset in my post entitled "Things i want to do before i get married.." i really have lots of shallow dreams i want to fulfill.... i am so thankful to my adorable friends who were with me when one of my dreams was fulfilled.... i really had a wonderful day... even though i thought that i have started my day and my year with strings..as in i've forgotten that i was the reporter yesterday... but i am thankful that things went smoothly and until now, what more can i ask for?God did not really leave me alone.. i just prayed to him desperate that i've ruined my year.... but now, i am happy.... i am so thankful to my friends and to my family who have been there for me... all the times... one thing is just missing.... "him".... joke!!!!=p
i would make the most out of this day.... today that i am still 19 y/o.... my last day being a teenager.... my birthday wish: i hope i will just be happppppppyyyyyyyyyyy......... and hope everybody will be haaapppppierrrrr!!!!!=p

ei bloggers out there.... remember this: NEVER DRINK ALCOHOLIC DRINKS IF YOU ARE PROBLEMATIC.....coz i tell you, that is not an answer....
just this night, while we were having our (redhorse) drinking session a good friend happen to drink with us and he's problematic... and alcohol hit him!!!!!
a piece of advice, if you are burdened, especially with problems about the heart, if you find redhorse or any alcoholic drink the answer to your problems, damn you are on the wrong track! it's good to drink for the sake of bonding.... the atmosphere while in the session should be light... dramas have no room for that... well, that's one thing i've always thought of and now that it happened again, it will remain in my heart... at least there are other ways to release burden, right? we are born with lots of defense mechanisms to choose from...=p
this is how i should describe my new year's eve, actually dawn.... call redhorse a bestfriend, but he should not be there if you are sad...

new year..... it's a new year once again... say goodbye to 2005 and welcome 2006....
so many blessings, so many things to be thankful for.... i have already made my testimonial for 2005....
i received an email from my grandparents abroad... their words hit me... they shared me some words of wisdom that again strengthen my determination towards my goals.... there it goes:

This coming New Year will be a challenge to you. I know you have plans and achievable goals.(short or long term) that you have to focus to. Minimum excuses should be the rule rather than the exception in cases when you fall short of your target. To attain your goals you need sacrifices, a lot of them. If possible forego pleasure if pleasure will stand on the way in achieving your ends. Pleasure is sweetest after you have undergone a lot of sacrifices and life will be more enjoyable. Okey then, get going.

i super appreciate their support... their words are enough to inspire me somehow.. "pleasure is sweetest after you have undergone a lot of sacrifices and life will be more enjoyable...." i agree..... i have mentioned before that i would prefer to face obstacles first before i achieve something coz with that i can feel the worth of my hardwork....