funny.. coz it was so close.. that i would bump into you once again.. and more, i was alone..

it might be that we were together within the 1 km area... funny to think, i planned to drop by the national bookstore to buy the pink high lighter which i was supposed to buy before going to grocery.. but i decided to rather buy it after, before i finally leave the mall.. i was in front of the national bookstore, but my feet directed me to the Pedro Gil exit, suddenly thought that i might not be needing the pink highlighter since i still have yellow and no heavy readings yet.. i decided to let it pass.. not knowing i missed the chance of seeing him once again, in whites!

few minutes after arriving here in the dormitory, i received a text from a friend, telling me she saw him in rob.. and it was in national bookstore, that she described him to be alone (as usual) and in uniform!

why do people close to me are the once who often see him? how come our paths haven't crossed, yet we're just one block away? and why do i still keep on thinking of him? i just hope that our time will come, that we can be very comfortable with each other's company... as friends!

it's sunday once again.. though i aint got class tomorrow, but i have another week to look forward to.. humm.. ive been a bum for the whole day.. just stayed here in the dorm, just went out to buy food and to attend mass around 5pm.. my obsessive-compulsive self once again attacked me.. been busy fixing our dirty and disorganized room... that sounds productive... but i call it bum-ness! ive been in the internet almost the whole day...

henry's here, i supposed. and i feel bad for the Bicol people.. they are the major "beneficiaries" of the typhoon, the volcano which used to have a perfect cone is currently active.. just imagine... typhoon + ash falls + floods + lava flow ==== disaster... and its not good to hear.. nor to imagine... i pray that their place be safe.. and that people on that place will keep their faiths on the alert level as well....

on the brighter side.. when there's typhoon, chances are, no classes! makes me feel guilty to think that way, but rather think on the positive side... it may be selfish.. but well... yes... prayers i believe will be our best weapon to conquer the equation of disaster! i hope it not to happen talaga.. coz there will be lots of people who will definitely be affected...

tomorrow's the last day for july! whew.. its august once again... as preparation for august, when it comes to money matters, i listed the possible amount i could have... and discard the possible and feasible expenses and payment for my debts.. and well, i really have a very small amount for my necessities.. its good that as early as now, i appreciate the value of money and i learned how to handle it... little by little...

for quite a while i was confused... why do i see a certain person more than what he should be to me?.... i go beyond i should i see him... i pushed to the limits of treating him without intensions... for a certain time i felt guilty, good thing he did not know.... and i have no intensions of letting him know, or anyone else.. this person is so good to be treated with malice.. i prayed to God that may i not see him for a while, until i am clear with my intensions to him... and good thing, i was answered..

there were so many chances of seeing each other, as in too many! but at times i was there, he's not appearing.. nor during those times he could have been there, i have other things to do... sounds funny, but great! and not until few days ago, that once again, i saw him... i would admit, i missed him... but i could proudly say, i could see him now purely and without intensions... at least now, i am clear of my feelings, and i need not to feel guilty anymore...

i am just happy being what we are today... we could be friends.. and more, we can be brothers and sisters in Christ!

a shout out says:

"people change.... i'm glad i've seen personally on you.. now you smile... now you laugh.. and it is a good thing... at least for me...."

yeah... people change... that's a fact. everybody has his own choice of changing... but it is important to remember that change can happen only if you want to...

with the your case, oh well, until now, still has no chance of knowing.. but upon my observation, i saw something on you...i saw a smile on your face i never saw on you before.. but still i am not certain what you are to me.. yeah i am certain of what i am to you.. of course, what would anyone expect someone to be part of his life if never given a chance to know each other.. and this idea answers my role on your life.. but i would like to remain it that way.. at least for now.. i do not want to take the risk of breaking my promise.. but then, your role.. what are you to me in the first place? now that i am living my life in the most ngarag way (but still manages to be kikay! ahem!)... i have so many commitments... where should i put you in my priorities.. but the fact that i questioned my self of where to position you among the list of my priorities, could it be that i do prioritize you? nah! that's a stupidity... i already told myself, i could handle to be makulet with you... i could feel it, yes. i hope that when that time comes, that we will be given a chance to be together, or even bump each other, i could handle my self in the most natural way i could be.... i would say, you look good today!=p

its the start... of something new....

wow, actually, i got the high school musical syndrome... or should we say, fever! realized finding myself listening to its soundtrack actually...

whew! good to have a shower... and it's around 1:49 am! have spent my entire time infront of the computer, have been planning to blog (a lot of stuff) and yet it took me only now to start... have lots to say but haven't constructed my ideas yet.. and until now.. but then, this is a blog... come what may... as long as i could still think, thankful that i am still a human being..

hmmmm.... i've been asked, "kamusta ka na?", or "anong bago?", or yet, "what have you been up to lately...?".... and as expected, my answer would be, "ok lang! walang bago!"... but as if???! do i always have to answer that way? as in like nothing's new happening to me?! what a boring life i could have! actually, i have been to a lot of things lately... as in... and encountered a lot of changes.... super!

where do i begin? hmmm... i would want to start with my old friends, particularly the BMI sisses... i've realized, after hanging out with them last monday, july24, that wow, we really are matured! hanging out with them, celebrated the bday of one of my BMI sisses, originally planned of watching Pirates of the Caribbean: the Dead Man's Chest... wow, Johnny Depp is really a man! so hot and sexy, despite the image he has in the movie, he's still hot! i also appreciated orlando in this film coz his attitude being a commander little by little flourished! well, i would not be discussing the film, otherwise, it could have been pirates blog... we saw echo and heart before entering the movie house.. echo is really a handsome man... but heart, ummm..no comment! after the movie, not yet aware of the suspension of classes the next day, we had coffee at seattle's best greenbelt... jihan paid for our coffee... wow, she got her salary na.. and she could already afford to treat us.. oh well, life is like a wheel, as they say... we just told ourselves, that we are different now because greenbelt is now our hangout place.. unlike few months ago, we just concentrated in RP...

basta, friends are really nice..super they are worth treasuring.... it's a good thing to have regular bonding... we now have our different fields, are our dreams are becoming more fabulous! we get excited with our future, seeing one of our friends look forward into something very very good... and she serves as our inspiration.. to succeed.. we now have our different fields, and perhaps variety of differences, but we still stck...we are friends, and we will be treasuring our selves... we built our dreams together, together we will achieve them! yahoooo!!!!

where am i to start? oh well, right now, i could say, i am in heaven!!!! oh yes!!! just arriving from a youth camp, a very memorable one... well, my camp, which was last year, is a memorable one too... but this thing is different... this is my first camp being part of the service team.... and the feeling is unexplainable...

hmmmm... where should i start? a question i haven't found the answer yet... but i knew, the moment i was told there was a camp, and was invited to be a facilitator, i got excited!as in! but too bad, few days before the camp, i started doubting my self... should i or should i not serve? as there are so many temptations.. so many things that i doubted, that i had the tendency backing up!as in like, i thought of going home to batangas, and the financial constraints i am currently facing.. plus knowing that andy will be going back sta mesa this weekend..and i also considered my acads, thesis, family in batangas... i made up excuses my self, but i realized, damn! i'm making a fool out of my self... but despite the temptations, i still managed to be there...i confidently say, "i chose my Lord over others!"...

i would like to always remember one of the most astig incident that happened... the night before the camp, a good friend of mine and a dormate as well, happened to have a talk with me... i never expected to have the conversation coz we were both tired then... but i was surprised she knocked on my window, and then she started talking to me.. she first asked me what were my concerns, and i said, physical stress, coz that's what i really felt that moment... having a class til 8:30 pm.. could you imagine?! she wanted to tell me a message in which she considers as God's message for me.. at first she was hesistant, knowing that i might not need the word that time... bt she told me in the latter... God's message goes "like just trust Him.. lift up everything to Him... and do not mind what others may say about me... " well, thinking about that, i felt nothing.. i just told her that i may have not realized the reason behind the message, but i believed soon... but i did not expect it to be that soon.. as in like 10 minutes after our conversation started, i told her that the day after (sat), i will serve in the yfc camp and will be one of the facilitators... but shared her my dilema, that i haven't had the gift of tongues yet, and i might not be a good faci... and instantly, the message reminded that ooopss!!! don't think that way... God is just so great that at that moment, i found the purpose of his message... and that message stuck in my mind and helped me in the entire camp!!

it just feels good to take good care of people... to know their stories, to get their trust.. to let them feel God's love.. for helping them see God's powerful works.. for touching their lives even though you haven't really expected it to happen....it's good to see the lives of those people changed.... to see them being touched my God... it makes me happy to know that there are people who seeks God.. and to see them lift up their concerns to Him... that was overwhelming!!! i also carry a lot of burden, but during the entire camp, though i had worries, i felt that they suddenly disappeared... i was able to lift up everything to Him... he's just so powerful!!!! i learned a lot from the camp.. from the service itself, the brothers and sisters, as well from the participants, most especially my babies.. they let me realized a lot of things about life... that there isn't really such a perfect life... but i am thankful for the gift of life He gave me...

it's a great great feeling of knowing that after this camp, another batch of Christ's followers is here.. the YFC family increases.. and i hope, we could continuously glorify Him and be good reflections of His love.... shocks!!! i really really regret NOTHING in this experience... i learned to love other people... coz that's what God simply tells us.. to just love our neighbors... to love our brothers and sisters... and now, i know i finally understood what He means about loving... Praise God!!!!