vacation's finally over.. well, i ain't got vacation at all.. i had my summer practicum experience, which is totally fun, then i spent most of my time here in Manila anyweiz.. but tomorrow, the official day of classes, i'm still not sure how will i survive! i finally gave up on the hope that i will be supported with my allowance, but no grudge about that! it's a good thing that my sister finally found a new job and she could continue in sustaining my finances, however, i will be expecting it by 1 or 2 months from now! hay! what will i do? i really am not certain. my job applications aren't certain yet, and yet, i am not sure if i could manage to have one! but i really want to find a decent job that i will surely enjoy..... tomorrow will be preoccupied... have to be in school to prepare some tasks, then the first GA of our org, and after that, i am thinking of running to Makati for my first job interview, however, i know i will not afford to get a job in call center... i will just go there for the sake of experiencing it! haha!

my heart's little by little hardens... with people i am surrounded at, i suddenly felt that i am not the emotional type and the soft hearted person anymore, as i used to be... am i getting tougher? to the point that i am turning bad? it does not make me happy, honestly.. but i could just not help it to notice the mistakes of people who are commiting the same mistakes over and over again.. i just recently had a bad encounter with my mom again... for the reason of i do not know why! before i left for manila a week ago for a meeting, we were in good terms as far as i remember... and when i arrived yesterday, she ceased talking to me, as well as my sister! and worse, it was her birthday! we even bought her gifts, but she obviously showed us that she doesn't care at all! it hurts me to be treated that way, actually, but for only a while that i felt that! i would not want to develop hard feelings towards her... so i'd rather let the issue pass this time... i do not want to be affected anymore! please Lord, help me!