I miss him already… for so long I haven’t seen him.. valentines day passed and still nothing happened.. I have been waiting for him for so long… more than a year already… why can’t I still let him go? Why? People keep on telling me that I am so stupid.. or that I should not be into him anymore.. I accepted it, that my love for him is one way… when could I find him? the one who could make me feel that I am special? Someone that I can show my real self? I have said this a lot of times already.. but well, I accepted the fact that I am a type of person who is hard to please,,, or that I am so manhid? A lot of times I already said that I am not into finding my love life… and I could honestly say that I am keeping my word.. I finally accepted that true love waits… but should I still keep on holding for him? he’s a man that I rarely talked with… super no moments with him? or the question that lies in me is that am I a boring type of person as well? That men feel bored on me? What’s the matter? I really do not know… I really really want to let go of my feelings for him… still that I learned that there are rumors that he’s into someone else who also happens to be his course mate and batch mate as well? But still, even if I learned this rumors on him (courtesy of my sister tami through his brod), I still cannot afford to let him go out of my mind.. this is stupid… I have always been praying that if he is not for me, could it be that God will instantly remove my feelings for him.. or I should learn something about him that will totally turn me off.. I would rather have the pain in an instant and by that I can accept easier that he is not the one for me…here I am again, being involved, or should I say, involving my self with someone who cannot involve his self to me… am I just manhid? Or am I too afraid to take the risk? Risk of getting involved with someone? If that is so, why should I get afraid? Am I commitment phobic? I do not know! How should I know? Eh I haven’t felt the feeling of being in love happily.. I am tired of such one way love… I told my self, right this very moment, no guy in particular that I could think of as my future GG….. that’s what the true love waits phrase is all about…. Hay….oh keg,..,, more that, I am very dark today… who would I expect be attracted to me in this skin color? This is so mababaw, but well, even though I tried hard to look good, it seems no one can appreciate me… I do not know… I do not feel anything… may be it’s not yet time… as of now, I will just wait for him… but I will not do anything on him anymore… I should be cherished!!!!