"when you experience euphoria, be ready for a sudden sadness...." this is what i thought not until i attended the 5pm mass at PGH chapel and listened to the homily of the priest...

before.....:

things will never be perfect... i believe in that... but i began to question the return of every happiness i experience...as in it always happen most of the time, that when i feel the sudden happiness, at the peak of it, a day after that, i would cry.... and the tricky part is that the reason of my sadness is completely far from the reason of my happiness.. this may sound weird, but i take that consideration....

always, there will be problems..there will be sadness.. this world's not perfect, but HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.... i should remember that... but why do i tend to forget that??? as much as i wanted to show the happy side of me, but when tests attack me, i would just cry... the best test for me is the test of my family.. i always pray to make my family intact... it was, not until this afternoon that i found out that the intact family i was hoping for is finally over.. i thought the baby would be the key to strengthen my family...

but NOW...:

i do not want to surrender.. the priest mentioned: God attracts us to be on His side.... i told myself, if these problmes and sadness i feel and the exchange of my tears are God's way of attracting me, i should fear nothing! i know i would be able to overcome this, coz i have Him... i really do not know what happened to me... at all... but i am pretty sure, He changed me like this... He made be a better person... a stronger person... i know in every struggle i face, He is there...

and as a person, i have my styles of coping up.....as much as possible, i would avoid food tripping, coz it will make me fat!!!! i was planning a while ago, during the saddest part and crying moment of my afternoon, to have a haircut... but no one was able to accompany me... may be tomorrow, a good friend of mine, irene, texted me... and she agreed to accompany me to the beauty parlor.. hehe=) hopefully tomorrow morning, i could have my haircut....

those issues that made me cry... though i haven't mentioned all.. what i've mentioned is just a small part of the big pie of reasons why i am sad... my confusions, the problems that i foresee, et al.... but i should not be worried... i know, i believe, that i would be able to pass this, coz i have Him...