after reading one of jc's (my housemate) posts, i was inspired to write something related coz we're on the same boat.. we're both involved in that horrible thing that happened in our dorm.. and we're both missing our housemate, kuya norman..
at first i was telling my self, i am not affected.. i should not be.. coz seeing him arrive at home (or feeling his presence coz i barely see him though i can feel his moves), he's not affected at all.. so why bother my self too, right? but i have been in denial for so long.. only in the end i have to admit i miss him... a lot actually...
prior to the night of jan 12 (of course i kept that date on the record), kuya norman and the rest of the housemates are doing good.. actually, it was only last decemeber that i got to be close to him that close, and got to appreciate the feeling of having a kuya.. i even told karen that i'm glad that finally i'm close to kuya norman, and that i appreciate him being a kuya to me... coz i really wanted a kuya.. i value the friendship and even thought of keeping the friendship forever, even when we're colleagues... but then that night happened.. i never expected that it will reach as far as up to this date that we're not yet ok! darn...
he may not be mad at us (i hope i have the right instinct), but things changed.. as if what happened that night will forever mark on him and i felt as if i was unforgivable.. i even convinced my self that i am fine if the old relationship won't be back.. i thought of my PRIDE.. that i should not do anything anymore to be ok with him, coz i felt he doesn't want to be ok with us on the other hand..
but as days go by.. after a month of acting strangers with each other, i knew i've been missing him all the while.. but what can i do? right now actually, i'm bothered on how should i approach him.. as if i don't know him anymore... as if the person whom i treated as a real brother to me turned out to be a stranger that i happened to pass by the street everyday...
but i really want to end this thing.. especially now that i have 2 months left to stay in our dorm.. yes, i'm moving out on april 17... i already talked to my mom... and she advised me to move to other place na nga... i might be living with new set of people, but the people i have been for the past 10 months will forever be remembered... and now i hope that the remaining 2 months will be spent up to its best.. and with kuya, i hope it won't be too late..
people may wonder why i finally decided to move out... is it because of that war? partly yes, but i would rather classify it as the demotivating factor to stay.. i mean i have been attempting to move out because of the environment, but what keeps me staying are the people whom i have great bonding with.. there's the lopez siblings (jim-jim =my favorite yfc brother; tin-tin =my savior every time i need kikay stuff' john2 =who has been my guitar teacher for a while) with their dad whom we call attorney.. then kuya erwin with ate gema, who as been the kuya lately to me (and ate) and who always comes out from nowhere like a mushroom that you'll get surpirsed, then kuya norman, who has been the kuya among thy kuya... then the reyes sisters (jc and karen) whom i have been so attached lately... these are the people that i'll surely miss... i kept telling jc and karen that even we'll be separated from each other, we should get time to get together from time to time, eat dinner or lunch together, or go malling when we have time...
it's really hard.. but during the one month that passed, i realized i want to move out... especially when i got sick.. my mom even told me to move out coz of the unsanitized place that could have been a factor why i got sick.. she has a point.. but if things have been ok among the bond of the housemates, i might be reconsidering.. plus jc and karen will be moving out too... and may be kuya erwin, i'm just not sure and he's not sure yet..
people are leaving.. but they will forever be kept in my heart... i just hope that things will be ok, my relationships with the housemates will be ok, especially with kuya norman.. i hope we'll be back to what we we're before, though i know kinda hard to happen coz he's sooo busy and so am i.. but i hate the feeling of acting as if we're strangers to each other.. the feeling that i know he's already home yet i haven't got the chance to talk to.. but what hurts more is hearing him talking to other housemates he's ok with, or when jc or karen attempted to talk to him only to give a cold response.. hay.. i really don't know how to approach him first... i hope he'll be back to the old makulit kuya like he was before.. =(
at first i was telling my self, i am not affected.. i should not be.. coz seeing him arrive at home (or feeling his presence coz i barely see him though i can feel his moves), he's not affected at all.. so why bother my self too, right? but i have been in denial for so long.. only in the end i have to admit i miss him... a lot actually...
prior to the night of jan 12 (of course i kept that date on the record), kuya norman and the rest of the housemates are doing good.. actually, it was only last decemeber that i got to be close to him that close, and got to appreciate the feeling of having a kuya.. i even told karen that i'm glad that finally i'm close to kuya norman, and that i appreciate him being a kuya to me... coz i really wanted a kuya.. i value the friendship and even thought of keeping the friendship forever, even when we're colleagues... but then that night happened.. i never expected that it will reach as far as up to this date that we're not yet ok! darn...
he may not be mad at us (i hope i have the right instinct), but things changed.. as if what happened that night will forever mark on him and i felt as if i was unforgivable.. i even convinced my self that i am fine if the old relationship won't be back.. i thought of my PRIDE.. that i should not do anything anymore to be ok with him, coz i felt he doesn't want to be ok with us on the other hand..
but as days go by.. after a month of acting strangers with each other, i knew i've been missing him all the while.. but what can i do? right now actually, i'm bothered on how should i approach him.. as if i don't know him anymore... as if the person whom i treated as a real brother to me turned out to be a stranger that i happened to pass by the street everyday...
but i really want to end this thing.. especially now that i have 2 months left to stay in our dorm.. yes, i'm moving out on april 17... i already talked to my mom... and she advised me to move to other place na nga... i might be living with new set of people, but the people i have been for the past 10 months will forever be remembered... and now i hope that the remaining 2 months will be spent up to its best.. and with kuya, i hope it won't be too late..
people may wonder why i finally decided to move out... is it because of that war? partly yes, but i would rather classify it as the demotivating factor to stay.. i mean i have been attempting to move out because of the environment, but what keeps me staying are the people whom i have great bonding with.. there's the lopez siblings (jim-jim =my favorite yfc brother; tin-tin =my savior every time i need kikay stuff' john2 =who has been my guitar teacher for a while) with their dad whom we call attorney.. then kuya erwin with ate gema, who as been the kuya lately to me (and ate) and who always comes out from nowhere like a mushroom that you'll get surpirsed, then kuya norman, who has been the kuya among thy kuya... then the reyes sisters (jc and karen) whom i have been so attached lately... these are the people that i'll surely miss... i kept telling jc and karen that even we'll be separated from each other, we should get time to get together from time to time, eat dinner or lunch together, or go malling when we have time...
it's really hard.. but during the one month that passed, i realized i want to move out... especially when i got sick.. my mom even told me to move out coz of the unsanitized place that could have been a factor why i got sick.. she has a point.. but if things have been ok among the bond of the housemates, i might be reconsidering.. plus jc and karen will be moving out too... and may be kuya erwin, i'm just not sure and he's not sure yet..
people are leaving.. but they will forever be kept in my heart... i just hope that things will be ok, my relationships with the housemates will be ok, especially with kuya norman.. i hope we'll be back to what we we're before, though i know kinda hard to happen coz he's sooo busy and so am i.. but i hate the feeling of acting as if we're strangers to each other.. the feeling that i know he's already home yet i haven't got the chance to talk to.. but what hurts more is hearing him talking to other housemates he's ok with, or when jc or karen attempted to talk to him only to give a cold response.. hay.. i really don't know how to approach him first... i hope he'll be back to the old makulit kuya like he was before.. =(
posted by
cRiSziE @
5:32 PM
