Looking Back
December 29, 2005
12:01 am
Every year we encounter different experiences, we see different scenarios in every phase of our lives.. there are good and there are bad… there are joys and there are tears…. The year 2005 has been so memorable. A year full of blessings, full of surprises, full of love and friendship, full of struggles and trials…. And I am so glad, I made them happen in my life for this year… it is about to end, and welcome another year with so many things to expect from. Before I say goodbye to 2005 and welcome 2006, I would like to remember the things that made my year significant and memorable… be it good or bad, I believe it is worth remembering… looking back to the events of my past, I would be guided with the years of my future. These things serve as my channel to a better path.. those things made me stronger and matured as I continue to struggle in life…
1. I turned 19!!!! Wow! This is my last year as a TEEN….
2. My 19th bday celebration is so memorable… full of surprises and the time to celebrate it was prolonged… up to the following week of my birthday there are surprises.. whew! I love surprises!!!!
3. I took Chem 14…. Last summer… and it was so much fun… though it’s hard.. it was really a tough summer experience…. Very toxic and pressured…. But I am so proud I made it!!!! I once told my self before enrolling…. (at that time I have phobia in Chemistry) that if I won’t face my fears in science subjects at this early, how can I face the real world in med school? I am to expect triple the uneasy subjects… so I’d rather weigh my abilities as early as now….
4. aside from passing Chem 14… something worth remembering are the memories I had… with new found friends.. I got to know students from other courses and lower batches.. make friends with them… and I also got to know well my mentors who are still young yet so great teachers of Chemistry… Sir Chris and Sir Li… until now, we are close. That from time to time we got out for bonding….there is our Chekwa fans club.. composed of Revs, Brianne, El, my good mentors, and your truly…. At the end of summer classes, we went out.. ate dinner at Popeyes and had a studio pic…. Funny thing, I had a super terrible crush on my mentor… haha!!!! I tend to deny so many possibilities in this world that exist for that…haha J
5. birth of our little angel in the family… Shandee Felicity… “andy” in short… that’s April 23, 2005…. The little one of my Ate Sheri…. She really is a blessing…. =)
6. and her baptism… she was baptized on the month of May…and I am a happy and proud ninang…
7. this year is my sister, Tami’s debut… she finally turned 18!!! She had a very wonderful party…and I am so glad being part of the “organizing” team for her debut… I really wanted to become a party organizer someday… not that it is my hobby or something, but because I know there’s a need for me to learn to be organized in my self… and that would be a good practice for me… haha!!!! J
8. aside from the joy in behalf of my sister, I got to meet more people… my sister’s friends and block mates… oh well, I believe this was a good start of my friendship with Tami’s good block mates, Keith, RF, and Charles.. actually, the 2 former people had been my friends before hand.. Charles on the other hand, I got to know him only that time… the four of us had a good time chit chatting and hanging out at the gas station in front of our house… we get to share stories and know each other (somehow)…and I am so glad that until now, we’re are still good friends… (I hope…) hehehe=p
9. being part of the YFC-UPM family had been so memorable… I attended the 3-day Youth Camp last June 24.. and damn!!! That really was memorable… at first, I thought of having problems with joining the camp.. it turned out that the Planning schedule of the EXECOM of BESTSOC was scheduled on June 25..it really was a dilemma for me… I know I had the responsibility as part of the EXECOM… but I really wanted to join the camp… and I also had little problem with a very good friend, Jihan… I understand her, that being the chair of the org, it was her concern to plan the upcoming activities of the expected academic year.. she is my friend as well… that’s why it’s so hard for me to say NO…. I never thought that it would be the end of our friendship though.. but I thought that that incident my cause damage in our 3-year friendship… but it’s a good thing everything turned very well… I chose the camp, and with our friendship? I can’t forget Ji’s text that goes this way: “hindi org and sisira sa pagkakaibigan natin….”…she also attended the camp, though she had to skip a day for the planning….
10. for more than a year, I attached my self to someone who doesn’t even notice me.. it’s a drama or something… but I would like him to be part of the list because he has been part of my year… I started liking him December 15, 2004…. And on February 11… that’s the day we were finally introduced to each other…. That’s because of the NMAT… I grabbed the opportunity to ask details about the exam… he answered my questions well and He even wished me good luck in my NMAT…. During that time, I found him smart in conversations…. And because of that, the more I got attracted to him…. I remember, I had a very wonderful Feb 14.. we were not in a date, okay? How I wish! Hehe=p but that day, I got to talk to him… so shallow, that we spoke for like exchange of 3 sentences….. very clear details… P. Gil wing exit… this is how the conversation goes:
ME: Ei….Kaw ba nanalo sa Crush ng ---?
HIM: He just nodded with pride..
ME: Btw, ginamit ko pala ung guitar mo.. Sorry walang paalam….
HIM: Oh, no problem!
Call me obsessed or what…. A super mababaw na person… I even can’t tell my self why have I been acting that way towards that person….. since that time, every time our eyes met along the way, we exchange hi’s and nods…. That’s just how things go… but the sad part is that, I greeted him on his birthday, in text and friendster, I sent around 3 messages in Friendster in different occasions…. With all those moments, I got zero reply! L every time I semd those Friendster messages and receive no reply, I feel bad for my self.. I felt so stupid for doing those things… I felt like I want to hide my self every time I see him… but he has been so nice that whenever there would be chances that our eyes would meet, he would greet with a nod… but most of the times, his eyes were on the floor…
People may see I have been so detailed about him…. my answer would be, “those details are easy to remember because there are only a few of them…”
Well, this person has been a good inspiration to me… may be I was so overwhelmed with his attitude towards his goals… I do not know him at all, but few things I knew about him is that he has direction… he’s intelligent and smart…. And even though he looks suplado and mysterious, I can see he has the humor, which he reveals to few people he has close encounter with….
It was also my first time to pray for a person I am liking…I may be really stupid… why am I telling these things? Yet this issue has no direction… there is no way that he’ll know though…. no chance for me to let him know my existence… because I am COWARD! even though I have done so many things, actually stupid things, but those were not enough for me to let him know…. For so many times I told my self I let my feelings for him go…. I did…I do not know how would I feel for him when we see each other next year, but as far as this year ends, I can say I did let go! He has been a good part of my life… for so many times, I told my self that he touched my heart even though he doesn’t know… what did I like in that person? I hardly knew him… but as what I’ve said, as far as I know about him, he’s goal oriented, super silent type, good looking, practicing Catholic???? (because I have seen him attended mass in PGH few times), challenging person, and an extra point, we are in the same career orientation…. Right now, I have moved on…. He could be liking someone else and it’s totally fine… I just thank him for teaching me, indirectly, to have directions….if I used to make things on him a big deal, I am proud to say I can absorb things in the utmost natural way…. As in I can be normal toward him…. no malice, no back mind desires for him… as in totally, if time would grant us to become good friends, why not?
***********to be continued… I’m already sleepy…. Nytie..****************
December 30, 2005
1:17 am
11. by April 1st, BESTSOC conducted its medical mission at Bgy. Tejeros, Makati… it’s a tie-up project with Mu Sigma Phi Fraternity and Sorority and the SK of the said barangay. At first I find it impossible to happen due to time constraints… and even in the night before, I cried, because we found out that there’s no doctor available yet… as in I felt so stupid for my self…. But because of the help of the people around me and of course God, it happened… the interns and clerks of the said frat and soro were all nice… they even had a cute intern..named Chris…
12. I only cut my hair once this year… that was I think around late April or late May… it was during my summer classes… prior to that, I had my hair cut December 31, 2004… it may be inferred that I did not experience such a heavy depression this year… though I get depressed most of the times, but those times were not big deal enough for me to give up my hair.,,,=p
13. I was a CS for the 1st sem of 3rd year…=p I almost made it as US… only few points short… but still, being CS is great!
14. Ate and Taddy finally get married… last June….=p
15. I’m more than a year SA… I made it.. though there were so many “sablays”
16. by month of September, my cousin, Ate Leeann started giving me additional Php500/mo on my allowance….
17. oh, before I forget…. This year, I also had a laptop!!!!=) it was my uncles from the US who bought me this laptop..
18. however, the day I bought this laptop, together with my Uncle Nelson, was the day I lost my celfone… actually, I left it in the cab…. Carelessness on my part… as in super jahe tlaga… my Uncle then bought me a fone that same day… only that I really miss my 7250i cel…I miss the camera so much….
19. I really admit that it is not my nature to mingle with people younger than me…. I am not the type who would go first to bond with younger people, even a year younger than me… but because of the experience in BESTSOC, that attitude changed… I enjoyed so much the company of our freshmen BehSci majors… I find it so enjoyable to laugh with them, chitchat with them… things I do more comfortably with the same age and older group… but now, I’ve realized the joy I could get with the younger ones the same way I get from older….it’s really fun to mingle with them…
20. I have been so mean and bad this year… as I look back on my 2005, I’ve realized that for so many times, I was expecting people to understand me…. I always reason out and point them I was worth the understanding… however, I felt that it was not that easy for me to give the same understanding to others the same way they understand me… I have been so selfish! I’ve acted as if I knew everything…to my family, to my friends, and even to strangers.. but I want this negative attitude to stop… it seems that as I grow old, my understanding capability becomes narrower…. this coming year, I will work hard to improve…. I do not want to be selfish anymore to other people…. They’ve been so good to me, and I want to return them the same or better treatment they give me… I would like to have a broad thinking, such that it’s not too endocentric.
i know... 20 items are not enough to describe my 2005... i am not in the mood right now to continue.. but i know deep down my heart, my year has been as memorable one.. a year full of blessings, full of obstacles, full of everything... and now, i am ready to face another year of my life... my past had made be stronger and a better person, i hope.... i just wish i could be the person who i really wanted to be... a person full of determination but never fails to look back from where she started... a person who would not only seek understanding from other people but would rather understand other people more.... i would be turning 20 soon... i have to say good bye to the "teen" age.... i would work hard to mature... but i would surely remain young at heart...
December 29, 2005
12:01 am
Every year we encounter different experiences, we see different scenarios in every phase of our lives.. there are good and there are bad… there are joys and there are tears…. The year 2005 has been so memorable. A year full of blessings, full of surprises, full of love and friendship, full of struggles and trials…. And I am so glad, I made them happen in my life for this year… it is about to end, and welcome another year with so many things to expect from. Before I say goodbye to 2005 and welcome 2006, I would like to remember the things that made my year significant and memorable… be it good or bad, I believe it is worth remembering… looking back to the events of my past, I would be guided with the years of my future. These things serve as my channel to a better path.. those things made me stronger and matured as I continue to struggle in life…
1. I turned 19!!!! Wow! This is my last year as a TEEN….
2. My 19th bday celebration is so memorable… full of surprises and the time to celebrate it was prolonged… up to the following week of my birthday there are surprises.. whew! I love surprises!!!!
3. I took Chem 14…. Last summer… and it was so much fun… though it’s hard.. it was really a tough summer experience…. Very toxic and pressured…. But I am so proud I made it!!!! I once told my self before enrolling…. (at that time I have phobia in Chemistry) that if I won’t face my fears in science subjects at this early, how can I face the real world in med school? I am to expect triple the uneasy subjects… so I’d rather weigh my abilities as early as now….
4. aside from passing Chem 14… something worth remembering are the memories I had… with new found friends.. I got to know students from other courses and lower batches.. make friends with them… and I also got to know well my mentors who are still young yet so great teachers of Chemistry… Sir Chris and Sir Li… until now, we are close. That from time to time we got out for bonding….there is our Chekwa fans club.. composed of Revs, Brianne, El, my good mentors, and your truly…. At the end of summer classes, we went out.. ate dinner at Popeyes and had a studio pic…. Funny thing, I had a super terrible crush on my mentor… haha!!!! I tend to deny so many possibilities in this world that exist for that…haha J
5. birth of our little angel in the family… Shandee Felicity… “andy” in short… that’s April 23, 2005…. The little one of my Ate Sheri…. She really is a blessing…. =)
6. and her baptism… she was baptized on the month of May…and I am a happy and proud ninang…
7. this year is my sister, Tami’s debut… she finally turned 18!!! She had a very wonderful party…and I am so glad being part of the “organizing” team for her debut… I really wanted to become a party organizer someday… not that it is my hobby or something, but because I know there’s a need for me to learn to be organized in my self… and that would be a good practice for me… haha!!!! J
8. aside from the joy in behalf of my sister, I got to meet more people… my sister’s friends and block mates… oh well, I believe this was a good start of my friendship with Tami’s good block mates, Keith, RF, and Charles.. actually, the 2 former people had been my friends before hand.. Charles on the other hand, I got to know him only that time… the four of us had a good time chit chatting and hanging out at the gas station in front of our house… we get to share stories and know each other (somehow)…and I am so glad that until now, we’re are still good friends… (I hope…) hehehe=p
9. being part of the YFC-UPM family had been so memorable… I attended the 3-day Youth Camp last June 24.. and damn!!! That really was memorable… at first, I thought of having problems with joining the camp.. it turned out that the Planning schedule of the EXECOM of BESTSOC was scheduled on June 25..it really was a dilemma for me… I know I had the responsibility as part of the EXECOM… but I really wanted to join the camp… and I also had little problem with a very good friend, Jihan… I understand her, that being the chair of the org, it was her concern to plan the upcoming activities of the expected academic year.. she is my friend as well… that’s why it’s so hard for me to say NO…. I never thought that it would be the end of our friendship though.. but I thought that that incident my cause damage in our 3-year friendship… but it’s a good thing everything turned very well… I chose the camp, and with our friendship? I can’t forget Ji’s text that goes this way: “hindi org and sisira sa pagkakaibigan natin….”…she also attended the camp, though she had to skip a day for the planning….
10. for more than a year, I attached my self to someone who doesn’t even notice me.. it’s a drama or something… but I would like him to be part of the list because he has been part of my year… I started liking him December 15, 2004…. And on February 11… that’s the day we were finally introduced to each other…. That’s because of the NMAT… I grabbed the opportunity to ask details about the exam… he answered my questions well and He even wished me good luck in my NMAT…. During that time, I found him smart in conversations…. And because of that, the more I got attracted to him…. I remember, I had a very wonderful Feb 14.. we were not in a date, okay? How I wish! Hehe=p but that day, I got to talk to him… so shallow, that we spoke for like exchange of 3 sentences….. very clear details… P. Gil wing exit… this is how the conversation goes:
ME: Ei….Kaw ba nanalo sa Crush ng ---?
HIM: He just nodded with pride..
ME: Btw, ginamit ko pala ung guitar mo.. Sorry walang paalam….
HIM: Oh, no problem!
Call me obsessed or what…. A super mababaw na person… I even can’t tell my self why have I been acting that way towards that person….. since that time, every time our eyes met along the way, we exchange hi’s and nods…. That’s just how things go… but the sad part is that, I greeted him on his birthday, in text and friendster, I sent around 3 messages in Friendster in different occasions…. With all those moments, I got zero reply! L every time I semd those Friendster messages and receive no reply, I feel bad for my self.. I felt so stupid for doing those things… I felt like I want to hide my self every time I see him… but he has been so nice that whenever there would be chances that our eyes would meet, he would greet with a nod… but most of the times, his eyes were on the floor…
People may see I have been so detailed about him…. my answer would be, “those details are easy to remember because there are only a few of them…”
Well, this person has been a good inspiration to me… may be I was so overwhelmed with his attitude towards his goals… I do not know him at all, but few things I knew about him is that he has direction… he’s intelligent and smart…. And even though he looks suplado and mysterious, I can see he has the humor, which he reveals to few people he has close encounter with….
It was also my first time to pray for a person I am liking…I may be really stupid… why am I telling these things? Yet this issue has no direction… there is no way that he’ll know though…. no chance for me to let him know my existence… because I am COWARD! even though I have done so many things, actually stupid things, but those were not enough for me to let him know…. For so many times I told my self I let my feelings for him go…. I did…I do not know how would I feel for him when we see each other next year, but as far as this year ends, I can say I did let go! He has been a good part of my life… for so many times, I told my self that he touched my heart even though he doesn’t know… what did I like in that person? I hardly knew him… but as what I’ve said, as far as I know about him, he’s goal oriented, super silent type, good looking, practicing Catholic???? (because I have seen him attended mass in PGH few times), challenging person, and an extra point, we are in the same career orientation…. Right now, I have moved on…. He could be liking someone else and it’s totally fine… I just thank him for teaching me, indirectly, to have directions….if I used to make things on him a big deal, I am proud to say I can absorb things in the utmost natural way…. As in I can be normal toward him…. no malice, no back mind desires for him… as in totally, if time would grant us to become good friends, why not?
***********to be continued… I’m already sleepy…. Nytie..****************
December 30, 2005
1:17 am
11. by April 1st, BESTSOC conducted its medical mission at Bgy. Tejeros, Makati… it’s a tie-up project with Mu Sigma Phi Fraternity and Sorority and the SK of the said barangay. At first I find it impossible to happen due to time constraints… and even in the night before, I cried, because we found out that there’s no doctor available yet… as in I felt so stupid for my self…. But because of the help of the people around me and of course God, it happened… the interns and clerks of the said frat and soro were all nice… they even had a cute intern..named Chris…
12. I only cut my hair once this year… that was I think around late April or late May… it was during my summer classes… prior to that, I had my hair cut December 31, 2004… it may be inferred that I did not experience such a heavy depression this year… though I get depressed most of the times, but those times were not big deal enough for me to give up my hair.,,,=p
13. I was a CS for the 1st sem of 3rd year…=p I almost made it as US… only few points short… but still, being CS is great!
14. Ate and Taddy finally get married… last June….=p
15. I’m more than a year SA… I made it.. though there were so many “sablays”
16. by month of September, my cousin, Ate Leeann started giving me additional Php500/mo on my allowance….
17. oh, before I forget…. This year, I also had a laptop!!!!=) it was my uncles from the US who bought me this laptop..
18. however, the day I bought this laptop, together with my Uncle Nelson, was the day I lost my celfone… actually, I left it in the cab…. Carelessness on my part… as in super jahe tlaga… my Uncle then bought me a fone that same day… only that I really miss my 7250i cel…I miss the camera so much….
19. I really admit that it is not my nature to mingle with people younger than me…. I am not the type who would go first to bond with younger people, even a year younger than me… but because of the experience in BESTSOC, that attitude changed… I enjoyed so much the company of our freshmen BehSci majors… I find it so enjoyable to laugh with them, chitchat with them… things I do more comfortably with the same age and older group… but now, I’ve realized the joy I could get with the younger ones the same way I get from older….it’s really fun to mingle with them…
20. I have been so mean and bad this year… as I look back on my 2005, I’ve realized that for so many times, I was expecting people to understand me…. I always reason out and point them I was worth the understanding… however, I felt that it was not that easy for me to give the same understanding to others the same way they understand me… I have been so selfish! I’ve acted as if I knew everything…to my family, to my friends, and even to strangers.. but I want this negative attitude to stop… it seems that as I grow old, my understanding capability becomes narrower…. this coming year, I will work hard to improve…. I do not want to be selfish anymore to other people…. They’ve been so good to me, and I want to return them the same or better treatment they give me… I would like to have a broad thinking, such that it’s not too endocentric.
i know... 20 items are not enough to describe my 2005... i am not in the mood right now to continue.. but i know deep down my heart, my year has been as memorable one.. a year full of blessings, full of obstacles, full of everything... and now, i am ready to face another year of my life... my past had made be stronger and a better person, i hope.... i just wish i could be the person who i really wanted to be... a person full of determination but never fails to look back from where she started... a person who would not only seek understanding from other people but would rather understand other people more.... i would be turning 20 soon... i have to say good bye to the "teen" age.... i would work hard to mature... but i would surely remain young at heart...
posted by
cRiSziE @
11:25 PM
